Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
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bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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