you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
