8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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