You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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