remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
