I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
