are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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