i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
