I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When are your genitals available?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
