Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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