There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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