Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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