i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
