Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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