i think i have two assholes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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