I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
