oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
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Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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