if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The best revenge is premature balding
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
