think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
