I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
