three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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