He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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