I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
