Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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