that's an acceptable place to lick
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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