I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
