You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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