how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
