I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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