I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up under a house in Key West
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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