did you get engaged???
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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