im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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