Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
