Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
