Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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