Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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