Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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