So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
