I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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