i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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