The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
