Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
