Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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