i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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