yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
