we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All the doctor said was why
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
