I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
