I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
