whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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