no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
two words: eviction party
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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