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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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