hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
