Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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