her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
