you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
