paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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