I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I look better un-naked...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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