Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
